Life in the Fourth Trimester

You might have heard of the fourth trimester. Basically, it's the idea that the first 3 months of a newborn's life are essentially an extension of life within the womb. Bub has spent 40 weeks (or 37 weeks in our case) never being hungry, never being too cold or hot, always being rocked and never in silence. Hence, the fourth trimester aims to help mother's have realistic expectations when it comes to routines and sleeping in the first three months. Afterall, you can't realistically expect a newborn baby to adjust to this strange, scary world instantly.

Now this is our first baby, so I am by no means an expert on parenting, but I have found letting go of my schedule and simply spending time with Samuel and following his cues has made our transition into parenting an easy one. I am a typical Virgo - very organised, every thing has a place where it belongs and a huge planner, so just letting go was a difficult thing for me to do. But I made an effort to be guided by his needs - feeding, sleeping, being held, and the end result has been a happy, very relaxed mum with very happy, content baby!

A quick google search will show you that the keys to life in the fourth trimester include;

Feeding on Demand: This the key to baby's happiness, growth and well-being, regardless of how bub is fed (breast or formula). The justification is simple, baby's calorie needs change daily. They will generally want to feed more when they are going through a growth spurt, on hot days and when they are feeling unwell. Instead of watching the clock, watch your little one for hunger cues. These cues are one of the first things the lactation consultant taught us in the hospital after we had Samuel. Don't be surprised if you feel like you are forever feeding (and changing nappies). Newborns have tiny tummies and therefore feed ALL the time. They also are notoriously slow eaters.

As always there are exceptions......for example we woke Sam two hourly to feed in the first two weeks and restricted him to 40 minutes of eating. The reason behind this was Sam's jaundice. In order to flush it out of his systems, we needed to feed frequently (jaundice makes them lethargic and he would sleep for several hours if we let him). We restricted his feeding time in order to give him enough opportunity to rest. The Australian Breast Feeding Association is a great source for information on demand feeding.

Letting go of Sleep Expectations: The first question someone will ask a new mother is "Is the baby a good sleeper?" My response. Sure. He sleeps like a baby. What an absurd question. The expectation for a newborn to sleep at length for the first couple of weeks is unrealistic. There are several reasons for this: they have tiny tummies and need to feed frequently, their sleep cycle differs to adults (averaging 40 minutes) and their little bodies lack the melatonin levels to distinguish night from day. Nevertheless, these are all only temporary and all babies will sleep longer stretches eventually. Therefore, it is a lot easy if you regard your babies behaviour as 'normal' rather than trying to figure out what you are doing 'wrong'.

Routines not Schedules: I started out trying to follow an eat, play, sleep routine for Samuel until I came across a blog entitled BecomingMamas.com. The author described herself as being a fan of "Mother Nature made feeding sleep inducing for a reason" and was happy for her bubba to fall asleep on the breast. So I found myself more comfortable if this happened with us.

All babies will fall into a routine of some sort in their own time. I've found that Sam wakes at 8.30am and bed time is 8.45pm. He has three or four naps through the day, with one of them being a solid two hours and the others lasting around 40 minutes. I guess what has made it the easiest is that Sam is more than happy to sleep in his pram, car seat, rocker, the baby carrier, the floor, portacot, cot, on our bed or in our arms. And yes, I've had plenty of people tell me that once you think that you've got their sleeping and a routine sorted, they go change it on you!! I am waiting for this change to happen and when it does we will just go with the flow, like we have been, as it seems to work well for us.

Lots of Snuggles: Bub is used to the swaying and rocking that existed while living inside mum. Baby swings, bouncers and rockers can be a temporary substitute but nothing compares to mummy or daddy's arms. Being our first baby, we had the time to sit and hold Samuel and gaze at him for hours. Second time around I think the Baby Carrier will be our best friend. Babywearing gives mum (or dad) her hands and mobility back, bub gets rocked and snuggled and everyone is happy!

Don't think that you are creating Bad Habits: It's simple. You can't spoil a newborn. No matter how many cuddles or kisses you give them, how much you rock them, wear them or hold them, they will turn out strong, independant, beautiful people. Treasure this time, to heal and to get to know your little person.

Here is a beautiful video on a day in the life of a newborn. I really wish we had have thought of doing something like this with Sam. Those days seem so distant when Sam was that little......believe it when people tell you that they grow up fast.