Now that I am an "experienced" parent of six weeks, I thought that I would share some lessons learned from the trenches of first time mother hood.
1. You will eat 95% of your meals either incredibly fast or with one hand. Newborns have a knack for waking and wanting to be fed, just as your dinner is served! You will also learn to enjoy your coffee cold.
2. You will at some point, accidentally hurt your baby.....this doesn't make you a bad mum. (I bumped Samuel's head as I was rushing out the door when he was about 4 weeks old. When his bottom lip dropped, I felt like the world's worst mum! But I also learnt the invaluable art of distraction!!).
3. Breastfeeding is really, really hard. For such a natural process, it takes a lot of effort, discomfort and practice before bub might latch. It took us several weeks, lots of tears from me and a visit to the lactation consultant before we started to get the hang of things. You really do need the inner strength and belief, that you will get there......it is a gigantic mountain to climb but worth it once you get there.
On the other hand, if you try and try and still can't get there, IT IS OK IF BREASTFEEDING IS NOT FOR YOU. In the world of motherhood, formula has a developed taboo status and for new mums, the inability to breast feed can be associated with failure. At the end of the day, it is simple, you will breast feed or you won't. Regardless, you will have a beautiful baby, who will grow up to be healthy and smart. Do what is best for you and your child.
4. Dad - if you are wondering when you might have sex again, don't joke about until atleast week 6......and this still might be met with silence.
5. Don't underestimate the toll that labour will have on both mum and dad! We didn't account for 32 hours of contractions, with emergency surgery in our birth plan! It took dad a couple of weeks to recover from the stress and I am still getting there!
6. You will laugh more than at any other point in your life so far.
7. Don't listen to Dr Google, your instincts are a better option! Nobody knows your baby better that you do! There is a lot of contradicting information on the online forums, which ultimately confuses you! Not to mention, the time that is wasted while searching them. In the end, always trust your gut!
8. Your baby has control.Your attempts to plan or organise anything will be thwarted by their need to feed, poop, sleep or cry! They will even make you do things you never thought you would!
9. You will delight in calling each other "Mum" and "Dad", but everyone else will be revolted!
10. You will develop a new meaning for "clean". Samuel has this uncanny ability to whip off the breast while he is feeding and milk will go everywhere. In the first days after coming home, this meant stripping, washing and changing the bed and my dressing gown, a change of clothes for me and after a vomit, a change of clothes for the little man. With time, we have become a little less messy, but in the mean time, my definition of clean has taken a beating!! We are now sitting at.....Oh, he vomited on my shirt, wipe it off with a burp cloth.....it's clean.
11. A basket full of baby clothes takes FOREVER to hang out and fold.
12. The lack of sleep is manageable....I think that pregnancy really does prepare you for this. In the later stages of the third trimester, I actually think that I got less sleep than after Sam was born!! Also, Mum will cope with the sleepless nights a lot better than Dad will!!
Above all however, I have learnt to take life slowly because my little man is change so fast, everyday and I don't want to miss a moment of it!
Phoebe
xo
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