What Being a New Dad is Really Like

Samuel has just hit the six month mark, and I can’t believe how quickly the time has raced past.  It seems like just last week I was in the hospital with Phoebe and a new born baby, completely overwhelmed by the whole experience and situation I was in as a new Dad.  And now here we are, Sam’s eating solids, smiling and laughing, starting to crawl, getting his first teeth, and developing his own personality.

When Phoebe asked me if I would write about my experience as a Dad so far, my first thought was that maybe I should wait until I’d been a Dad for a bit longer and had something to write about!  But then I thought about all the changes that have happened over the last six months, all the troubles, the achievements, the feelings and growth of both Samuel and our family, and I realised I had more than enough to write about.

The hard bits

Let’s get this out of the way up front.  Of course there have been some tough times.  We’ve introduced a new baby into our family, and our whole world has changed.  There have been some late nights (despite having a baby who has been a good sleeper from the start), a couple of allergy scares (he doesn’t agree with egg), a tumble off the bed (at this point we realised he could roll), and the fact that we now accept our clothes will usually be covered in drool and vomit. 

There are the nappy changes, having to pack a full car of baby things for a single night away, having to plan things around his sleep, and generally having less time to ourselves. But worst of all for me, was going back to work, and missing out on seeing him for most of the day.  Often I find that when I leave in the morning he’s still sleeping, and when I get home at night I only have an hour or so before he’s off to bed.  I know that it’s not all rainbows and sunshine during the day at home, but sometimes I feel like I’m really missing out.

Having said all of that, I find it hard to really come up with ways in which Samuel has made our life difficult.

Incredible growth

One thing that is hard to explain, and something that I think has to be experienced, is the phenomenal rate of growth and development of a baby.  You hear so often about how quickly kids grow up, and to cherish the time with them while they’re little, and from the outside you even see babies of friends and relatives physically growing quickly.  I thought I understood that prior to being a Dad, but now I think I really know what they mean.  To see Sam at home every day, and to witness the amazing transformation from a new born baby, to a little human who is constantly learning and achieving new things – it truly is amazing. 

Every week and every day he changes and figures out how to do something new.  Every day his personality develops more, and I can’t express how much I love being a part of that.  From the first time his eyes focussed on me, to the first smile, the first time he rolled over, the first giggle, to the first time he played a game with me (peek-a-boo).  It’s all incredible, and I can’t wait to see what’s to come.

Family dynamic

Phoebe’s labour was very difficult, and has caused ongoing issues which requires regular physio.  So you could have forgiven her if she had had trouble emotionally as a new Mum.  And as a new Dad, I wanted to ensure that I did whatever I could to be there for both her and Samuel in the early weeks and months. 

But despite the difficult labour, Phoebe has been amazing right from the start, and as new parents I like to think we’ve adapted well and are doing a decent job!  Things have definitely changed from when it was just the two of us, and for Phoebe that’s meant being in full-time Mum mode.  For me, it’s been more about what I do when I’m at home and what my priorities are.  When at home it’s about spending time with Sam so Phoebe can take a break, or helping Phoebe with whatever needs doing. 

And when I’m not at home, I’ve found my priorities changing so that I want to get home to spend time with my family.  I still enjoy the odd beer after work, and going to football, but getting home to spend time with Phoebe and Samuel has become very important to me.

Life as usual

A final point about being a new Dad is that having a new baby changes your life dramatically.  But that doesn’t mean you have to cut out things you enjoyed previously, or that time with friends or trips away become a thing of the past.

Prior to Samuel being born Phoebe and I both decided that we wouldn’t let having a baby mean that we spent all our time at home, or stop doing the things we enjoyed.  And we’ve held ourselves to that.  Within the first six weeks I think Sam had been to the movies with Mum, to a live football game, camping, coffees with other Mum and bubs, and plenty of family visits.  And since then we haven’t slowed down. 

Things are different than they used to be, but we still make time to do the things we enjoy, and now we can share it with the newest member of the family.

The next six months

Looking back at the first six months, and how much has happened, I’m looking forward to watching Sam’s growth over the next six months.  But I certainly won’t be wishing it away, or looking forward too far.  Because now I really understand how quickly they grow up, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it!